Heartbreak, hopes and dreams

I am writing this post today because not only do I want to write about fashion and my style but I also want my readers to know what has brought me to this decision and to know more about me as a person, wife and mum.

18 months ago, I had the perfect family life, three gorgeous boys ages 11, 5 and 2 all fit, healthy and happy. 
My eldest boy Jack had just passed his 11+ to get into a very sought after high school and was very academic, sporty and popular. 

One morning Jack woke up with double vision completely out of the blue and in the days to follow are lives were not only rocked but completely blown apart…Jack was diagnosed with a large brain tumour.
He had immediate surgery lasting 15 hrs to try to fully remove it, but it was in such a dangerous place ( on the brain stem and in the centre of the brain ) that Jack was lost a couple of times and the decision was made to stop and leave the remainder of the tumour. ( approx 20%).
Jack came out of the operation in such a bad way it was touch and go for about 3 weeks and he was on life support in intensive care. If we thought are nightmare was to end we were much mistaken as Jack then had to have an operation to have a tracheotomy fitted so that he could breath.

This whole time we slept, sat and ate by Jacks bed and it was like living in a foggy bubble, in so much pain I actually felt physically my heart was hurting.

18mths on and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions from anger to elation.
Jack is now 13 and amazingly back at school and working hard everyday to overcome the struggles he has been left with.
It breaks my heart a little everyday to see him put his eye painted contact lense in to blind one eye to stop the double vision and see him walk for the school bus with a bit of a limp. But, and it is a massive BUT ..he is here and I am eternally grateful for every day , minute and second that he is.

So my views on life have obviously changed and I can’t stress enough that life is so precious and you must grab everyday by the throat and just have the best time you possibly can.

If you have been dreaming of doing something DO IT, don’t waste energy on worrying what other people think, live your dreams. 
Look at me starting a fashion blog at 42, but who cares? It is something I really want to do and I am loving doing it.

I hope now that you understand a little about my driving force in life, my family.
If you have children, go and grab them now and give them a massive hug and a kiss and be forever grateful for what you “have” and the rest is just a bonus.

This is a short video that I did for Jacks fundraising football tournament in the summer we have raised £15,000 so far .
It says it all….

Take care 
Amanda x